Felix, Couple Therapist
by mettigel
Summary: Harry takes the Felix, but he is not the only one who gets lucky. COMPLETE. Rated M, because: shouting match.


_Author's Notes__: I can't believe that I, eternal hater of Disgusted Singles Day, seriously spent that very day writing yet another fluffy piece on Ron and Hermione. Oh man, something is seriously wrong with me..._

_Disclaimer__: *checks* Nope, still not mine. Darn._

* * *

**Felix, Couple Therapist**

The only thing Ron thought about when he walked down the stairs from the boys' dormitories with Harry and Hermione was that the Felix Harry had just consumed must have been severely botched. This abruptly changed when his ears were filled with a hysterical screech.

"What were you doing up there with _her_?" _[1]_

It was Lavender who had risen from her armchair and was now storming over to them, and a wave seemed to roll across the entire common room as the heads of what appeared to be fucking _everyone_ whipped into their direction. Parvati, who had been sitting next to Lavender, stood up as well and followed her reluctantly.

At first, Ron had no idea what was going on. But then it occurred to him that, with Harry hidden underneath the Invisibility Cloak, it must have looked as if he had been alone with Hermione in his dorm.

Bloody fucking hell!

"Uh... ah... homework," Ron lied wildly and he felt his face take on a telltale blush. "Charms. Hermione... er... she gave me some... some background info on the Imperturbable Charm for Flitwick's essay."

But Lavender only puffed up more.

"Are you seriously expecting me to believe this crap?" she hissed dangerously. "You've never let _me_ into your dorm but _your dear Hermione_ can go there just because of _homework_?"

"Yes!" Ron yelped, inwardly shaking his head at her. Of course, he did not let Lavender into his dorm. He would have no quiet moment in his life anymore if she thought that she could see him there as well whenever she pleased. The mere thought made him shudder.

But Lavender did not even seem to listen as, completely ignoring him, she just kept on ranting.

"You know what, _Ronald_? I've had enough of this shit! We're done!"

"L-Lavender," he stammered and made a tentative step towards her when she burst out in tears.

"Don't you 'Lavender' me," she wailed, her blond ponytail becoming undone. "I'm not stupid. I see how it is. You've only ever had eyes for _her_. I thought I could make you forget her if I just distracted you enough, but I see it's no avail, if you even _sneak into your_ _dorm_ with her while we're together!"

In spite of the whole dreadfulness of this scene, Ron could not help feeling relieved. Lavender had seen the signs and she was willing to finally break up with him. Things seemed to be turning out fine for him after all.

Then:

_SMACK!_

And pain shot through his face as Lavender's palm greeted his cheek. With full force.

"It's over, you faithless wanker!" she cried.

A murmur of voices surged up, one of which the half terrified, half soothing one of Parvati's saying "Lav, you're losing it." But most prominent was Hermione, who marched right up to Lavender.

"What the _hell_ has gotten into you?" she screamed.

"Ooh, as if you didn't know, you godforsaken boyfriend-stealing trollop," Lavender shot back, taking a step towards Hermione herself and thoroughly looking as if she was just about to hit her as well.

"Enough!" Ron shouted, suddenly feeling furious. "Lavender, leave her alone! Leave _each other_ alone, for fuck's sake!"

"Of course, you're taking her side," Lavender sniffled and Parvati took her chance to walk over to her and put an arm around her shoulders.

"C'mon, let's get out of here," she said calmingly and guided her towards the girls' dormitories, turning her head and mouthing _"Sorry!"_ to Ron and Hermione as they walked.

"And _you_," Ron growled, still fueled by his rage, and shot daggers at everyone in the room who was still staring at them. "There's nothing for you to see, so go back minding your own bloody business unless you want me to give you detention!"

"Oh, come on, let's leave," Hermione sighed with exasperation and, grabbing Ron's wrist, led him towards the portrait hole, out of the common room and towards the tapestry of Barnabas the Barmy which she passed three times. As expected, the door to the Room of Requirement appeared. Hermione pushed Ron inside and he found himself inside a smaller version of the common room, complete with a merrily burning fire. Hermione dragged him to the couch in front of the fireplace and they both sat down.

"I'm sorry about that," she said quietly.

Ron stared at her.

"What are you _sorry_ for?" he asked. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

"Yeah, but she broke up with you," she replied. "And in such a dramatic fashion, no less."

Ron chuckled. "Yeah, that could've gone better. But I'm glad it happened. I mean, I wanted to break up with her, didn't I? And now it's done. I'm a free man again. I guess I need to thank Felix for that," he added with a grin.

Hermione smiled back. "Yes, you are," she replied.

"She shouldn't have insulted you, though," Ron said with concern. "Are you okay?"

"I'm perfectly fine," Hermione said. "_I_ was not the one she slapped after all. Does it hurt? It certainly looks awful."

"Nah, it's-" Ron started, but his words got stuck in his throat when Hermione gently touched him where Lavender had hit him minutes before. He winced slightly and closed his eyes. Hermione's soft fingers felt incredible against his stinging skin.

"-good," he breathlessly finished his sentence.

"Good," Hermione repeated, and then, the most amazing thing happened: Hermione removed her hand and gently brushed her lips against his cheek. His breath hitched.

"Good," he said again, feeling dazed, when Hermione leant back. He blinked his eyes open and looked at her. Her face had blushed a gorgeous shade of pink and she nervously smiled up at him. Before he knew what he was doing, he had reached over and cupped her elbows in his hands.

To his elation, she did not seem to mind. "Do you really think this was Felix' doing?" she only asked instead, looking slightly amused.

"Must be, I reckon," Ron said. "I mean, look at it. I've spent days trying to end it... Oh_, c'mon_, I _did_ try," he added when she shot him a disbelieving glance. "But anyway, it never worked out and then Harry took the stuff and - _BAM!_ - it's over! Must've been the Felix, right?"

"Harry must've been really fed up with the two of you, if your breakup falls under his good luck," Hermione smirked.

Ron could not help letting out a chuckle. "Yeah, I guess," he said.

"We all were," Hermione admitted and the blush on her cheeks became more prominent.

"Sorry for that," Ron mumbled.

"Don't mention it," Hermione said and then did another incredible thing: she leant into him and hugged him around his middle, her head resting on his shoulder. As he hugged her back, he secretly wondered if _he_ was not the lucky one instead of Harry.

"I think we're all just glad that you're finally back to normal," she said. "Well, except for Lavender," she added bitterly.

"Oh, damn, I haven't thought about that," Ron moaned. "Will you be all right? I mean, if you don't want to be in the dorm with her, y-you can kip in ours. It doesn't have to be weird or something. Er... I mean, you... you can have my bed and I can sleep on the floor. We can use the Invisibility Cloak when Harry's back. Nobody will notice."

He could feel Hermione smile against his neck and his eyelids fluttered at this sensation. "That's really sweet of you," she said. "But I can handle it. Don't worry."

"Well, all right," Ron said, feeling unconvinced. "But if it gets too bad, please come to us, okay?"

"Okay," Hermione said and nuzzled into his skin, sending a shiver across his whole body.

"Hermione?" he asked.

"Hmm?"

"You're amazing, you know that?"

He felt Hermione grin and she gave him a squeeze.

"So are you, Ron."

"Yeah," Ron chuckled, holding Hermione closer to himself. "We both are amazing. Incredibly fucktastically amazing."

"Yes, we are," she said, smiling.

They did not speak it out loud, but it was not needed because at this moment, they both came to the silent agreement that they belonged with each other.

* * *

_[1] Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, U.S. edition, p. 478 © J.K. Rowling_

_ (and I admittedly Googled this because I don't own that book - so no guarantee for correctness)_

* * *

_Honestly, I don't have a very fixed opinion on when Ron and Hermione actually got together. Due to the fact that, the first times I read the books, I was admittedly not into the whole romance between them and was just as blind to it as Harry was, I automatically assumed that it started when Harry first saw it, i.e. with their kiss in the RoR, and it kind of stuck. But now I also love to think that they pursued a secret relationship starting at the night of the Felix or shortly thereafter, although this, in my opinion, would not really go along with Ron's fear in DH that Hermione might prefer Harry over him (but could still be plausible if she constantly gave him the feeling that Harry and their mission were more important to her than their relationship, or something like that)._

_By the way, while I don't have anything against Lavender per se (even though her relationship with good old Won-Won was nothing short of horrid), I completely enjoyed writing the breakup scene. Snerk._

_That being said, Happy Disgusted Singles Day to everyone!_


End file.
